Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
