Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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