He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
