You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
