I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
