Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
