the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
