Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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