Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
