Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
