how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
