And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
