??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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