i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
