they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
