he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
