We're like a lot better than the average bears
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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