Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
