He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
