It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize