its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
