i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
