Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
