I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
