I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
