All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
