i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
