Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you had me at cake vodka
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
