did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
