i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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