he wants to bone in the snuggie
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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