YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
