This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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