he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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