Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
