I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize