So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
