you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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