Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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