The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
