How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
