So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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