Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
