Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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