M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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