"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
