So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
