I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
