He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
