I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
