Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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