That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
