I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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