just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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