That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
