Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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