Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
