he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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