when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
