His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
