I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I miss vodka workout Fridays
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
