My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
