the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize