How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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