No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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