Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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