Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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